Tigers Engagement: My reaction

"Agar kisi cheez ko puri shiddat se chaho,,,toh puri kayanaat usse aapse milvane par majboor ho jaati"
-Om Shanti Om

 “When you really want something to happen, the whole world conspires to help you achieve it.”
― Paulo Cohelo

I disagree

My mobile buzzed. 1 new conversation was the message beside the whatsapp logo.

Scotty: going for Trek on 29th
Me: where
Scotty: lolz, you really think I'll be somewhere other than beside Tiger on 29th ?
Me: ok

30 June, Control Lab

'Coffee ?'

Girish (Nagre) eased his hands over my chest, resting his elbows over my shoulder, trying to look what I was doing.

As my luck would have it again, the newly installed blue stack Android emulator agent popped a message on the right bottom corner of my laptop screen.

I flapped downed my lappy, in an attempt to stop Girish from reading the notification.

I took his fore arms in my hand pulled him close, his chin now resting on my shoulder.

'you guys, move your ass !' Prem called from somewhere in corridor.

I got up, picked my hat and empty water bottle and locked the lab.

'who's scotty ?'
I was taken aback from this sudden enquire from Girish.

'A friend from degree college' I replied donning the hat. The harsh rays of sun hit the exposed part of body. I had taken to wear full sleeved white kurta over my cotton jeans and a hat to beat the heat. The 'tea house' or better 'chai tapri' was a few minutes' walk from our department.

'Scotty??' Girish had covered his face with white 'pancha'  and his voice was muffled by it.

'I have saved his name by name of his favorite character from Euro Trip.' a smile sprouted on my face thinking about the topic on which the discussion was going. In a couple of days we had our defense scheduled, a week after that a national conference. My dissertation report was still pending approval by my guides, presentation was incomplete and  being the chief coordinator of conference I had many petty jobs to do. Before my train of thoughts moved towards philosophy, Girish started singing.

'Scotty doesn't know, Scotty doesn't know,
Ruchit did not read his message'

'I'll read them latter' I defended myself.  'its coffee that I require now'

The discussion as mama's Tea stall was usual, seminar, conference and why were our guides a wrong choice for us. It only reflected the surface tension that existed on the periphery of our minds. The real core of pressure which was hindering our happiness was the apprehension of what lies ahead after the completion of our Masters.

I was silent on our return journey from tea stall. I kept pondering about the lack of finishing my dissertation had. I had result enough to have a PhD pre-submission approved but lacked documentation. Making a mental note about how to improve on my current management system I entered the department. My lab was shared by half a dozen researchers and hence when I found lab vacant, I opened the messages sent to me by Scotty. 

A pervert sms, a abuse or some raunchy picture would have not affected me, but simple picture of Tiger getting engaged shattered my heart.  All along I just had kept repeating to myself, Scotty and Susie are trying to take Mickey out of me. I never knew why I felt hurt, but I felt pain. A subtle ache in head, followed by a dry throat and ultimately excruciating pain at heart. I felt like someone squeezed my heart brutally. The acute head ache and possible things that could have happen clouded my brain. All was forgotten, masters, dissertation, job. All that was left was void, a big void in my heart, a big void in my mind, a big void in my thoughts, a big void in my life.

I paced around the college, making excuses to my heart, trying to console myself that what had happen was not true, I kept looking at the picture again and again, they looked perfect, and then Scotty was never that good with Photoshop. Unable to control my emotions, I called 'Spruha'.

'Haiyya'
'wanna suck ?'  He was a bit direct
'you have place ??'
'place is never a problem baby'

'when??'
'I'll pick you from ur college, say at 7'

It was not exactly dark at seven, you could recognize people you know from their stialoutie. I was waiting at the college gate , slightly farther than the reach of CCTV camera that monitored the entrance. Not that I was doing something illegal, but I think somewhere deep down the subconscious was eating me for being, (pardon my language !) a slut.

I had met Spruha before, we went to see 'ye jawani hai diwani' together (it was another bizarre experience, remind me to write about it). I saw him coming on his Pulsar, physically he was not that hunk (you usually associate with Pulsar) and mentally you could call him a kid, but sometimes in conversation you could see the street smart mean tendencies in him. I admired his courage for having a nude picture of him with a hand covering his gentiles and other covering his face as his PR display pic.

I got on his bike, and off we went. I was surprised at the direction we went coz we were moving away from city.

'You have farm house kya ?'

we were moving at a good speed and suddenly he braked. Inertia took my body forward; my chest banged on his back. I managed to save my face by letting my chin slide over his shoulders. He did not stop his bike but increased the speed, I put my hand around him in an attempt to not fall off the bike.

'Ab kaisa chipak ke baitha hai !' his tone was hoarse, there was a slight hint of a triumph in his voice. I did not move away. I was cuddling him, my head resting on back of his shoulders, wind blowing my hair, my eyes were staring at the darkness in the surrounding, mind was wondering about the future, heart was aching for the past.  ,

'aabe haath kya kapado k upar he rakhega kya ?' He hissed.

I reluctantly moved my hands beneath his sweatshirt, under his T-shirt, my fingers felt the warm flesh of his abs. I moved my hand, creasing his torso, feeling his nipples between my fingers, probing his belly button. Sometimes when my hand lowered, my palm would brush his dick, that would make him release a moan, his dick would throb at the slightest touch.

Judging by the time we were on his bike, at his seeped I guessed  we had covered around 10-12 kms when he turned his bike into a narrow dusty road. A few minutes in dark surrounding, the only Illumination being provided by his bike light he stopped. My hands were still on his chest, he gently got hold of them and removed them from the heat of his body. It was then I realized, how cold the night was. I got off the bike, confused by the sudden stop. Roadside answer to natures call is always prevalent in India. He might have stopped to take a piss, I thought.

He whistled to attract my attention. He had parked the bike and was looking at me intently; Hands folded across his chest; his ass resting on the inclined bike seat.

I looked at him quizzically. And then it struck me.

'HERE ??'
'why? what's the problem?'
'Are you out of your mind? In open ?'
'You know what ....'  He walked over to me, grabbed me by scruff of my neck. Our eyes met, his eyes were jet black, full of lust or some emotion I was not able to identify. He pulled me close and planted a kiss on my lips.

He reached and removed my Kurta, the cool breeze and this dramatic experience gave me goose bumps. He went back to rest his ass on bike. He had an LED torch in his pocket which he flashed on me.

'come on strip'

the frown on my face clearly showed my displeasure for the spot.

'come on babes, its just us for miles '   He said licking his lips and giving a wink.

I removed my shoes and stepped out of my jeans.

'designer underwear ?' He raised his left eyebrow, his lips curled into a lusty grin.

I blushed .

He walked towards me and took my waist in his hand, and looked in my eyes.

'Breathe'  he said. I realized I was holding air.

As I exhaled. As he sucked at the base of my neck.

'Aahe'

He went back to his bike; pulled a box of cigarettes; lighted one and kept the remaining at the head of the bike.

'so, whats the use of wearing fancy underwear when no one can see them ?'
'I donnno, I just like them'

'lets flaunt them'
'what do you mean ?'

'lets walk'

'you are crazy, weda zhalayas ka tu? '
'you are a chicken' .... 'thatz what you are'
'NO .... ' I shouted

He threw his cigarette, walked up to me and then looking at my face and playing with waist band of my underwear said 'what are you afraid of? just chill, when you are with me I take care of you and all you do is relax'
his palms casually went past my waist band and with squeeze on both my ass cheeks and a small kiss on my forehead he concluded
'shoes ghal, kapde ithech rahu de'

After I had my shoes back on, we were  walking away from road, towards a hillock I assumed.
He had his hands by my waist as he led me into darkness.  We were walking into darkness, I was holding his small flashlight to show us the path. He continued to explore my nearly naked body with his hand around my waist traveling up and down my torso. He was smoking with his spare hand.
'why you dont like anal'
I just gave him a look.
'I'm not asking you for your ass or anything, just asking'

' dont know , afraid of pain'

'ohh, I have a virgin ?' he said kissing my cheeks.

'come on babes, i'd be gentle'
He said before giving a gentle pinch on my nipple.

'liked that?' He asked

'hmmm'

'want to have an adventure ?' He ask biting my ear lobes.

'Nope' ....'actually its getting a bit late'

'so ?'

'aare ... I mean'  I was hesitant. 'I have to get dinner before mess closes.'

'dont worry about the food, we'll dine in hotel'

'I have exam, need to prepare'  

'look baby, If you want something, you have to ask for it.'  He said catching his crotch.

I went to unbuckle his belt. He caught my hand and with a sweet smile said, 'ASK !'.

'May I give you blow job ?' I gave in to his desire, a bit irritated.

'nah, thatz a bit sophisticated for someone standing in his undies in open field'

I was about to say, lets just go back when I heard sound of bike coming our way.

I got tensed.

I saw him flashing his light allover to find cover. 'There' he said pointing with his light, ' get behind that tree.'
I ran, afraid to be found by some local and then to be thrashed.

I saw bike approach from its head light. The bike stopped near Spruh. I could hear them exchange words. What they were talking was yet unclear.
Another bike followed. I sank low, with my back near tree, praying for bike to go away and also for snakes and insects to not bite me.

I waited and waited for eternity, I still dont know how I manage to not wet my pants. I heard a bike pass by. Finally Spruh called.
'Its ok come out'

when I reached near him I realized one bike was still there.

'Its ok, they are my friends, came here with their girlfriends.' He called aloud.

Fear struck me again; my throat dried, I was in my undies, about to parade in front of whoever it was on that bike.

And as i was about to turn back and get behind the tree, Bike started and head lights illuminated me. I stopped dead in my track. Tried covering my exposed nipples with my palm. Someone wolf whistled.

'come fast' Spruh groaned.

I jogged along to find him seated backwards behind his friend. I hesitated for a moment.

'just sit normally, with legs over my legs, you would be ok'

'cant we just go back? my clothes are near your bike'

'dont be a bitch, just sit, we'll be back in an hour' and as an afterthought he mumbled 'they have food enough for all of us'

As the bike started, I wondered if the position I was in erotic or humiliating.  He did not let me ponder over the subject as he took my head in his hand and started kissing.

I could feel his dick getting hard, from nibbling my ear lobes he had graduated to biting my neck. His hands violently probed my naked back. sometimes just massaging nape of my neck, sometimes tugging my hair.

We reached the place, and true to my assumption we were at base of a hill. It looked like regular camping area. A small fire was started and two girls were sitting around it. I was so ashamed of myself that I dare not looked in their eyes.

'kya sharmata hai tera gandu' someone said. Must have been his third friend. 

The three of them went to sit on the rock a few feet away.

'chaddi badi sexy hai' I looked at the my teaser. He had taken off his shirt and now was preached on rock  showing his gym body in his cargo three-fourth.

'Rcuchi'  Spruh indicated with his finger for me to come near him.

When I went near him, He introduced me to his friends. I learned through a series of abusive and foul words that the half-naked guy was Avdhut and the other who was making the drinks Viraj. The girls accompanying them were engineering college girls who were trying to make some extra money.

His friends were not handsome but then why would handsome guys pay to get laid I thought. I was thinking about my position in the group, worried that his friends and girls would take me to be a prostitute (I know technically correct term would be gigolo, but prostitute sound a better translation of randi).

My worries were cut short when Spruh offered me a drink, 'wanna sip?'
'ok' I said.

He took a big sip and kissed the contents of his mouth into mine; surprised by his act I was unable to gulp down and a lot of liquor dribbled from corner of his mouth onto his neck and over his chest.  He unzipped his sweatshirt, removed his T-shirt.

I was amazed to find his upper torso smooth, His naked picture on the PR profile showed some hair and a little less defined chest muscles.

His chest glittered in the light by fire. The path traced by vodka onto his chest shining as the wind flicked the fire.

I knew what was going to happen, and my fear came true.

'will you please lick the vodka of my chest ?'

I knew there was no point in arguing. I licked the vodka, his chest too smelled of dried sweat, it was bland on my tongue.

As I licked, more vodka dribbled across his chest, onto his belly over his jeans. I looked up, found him pouring the drink. He pushed me gently towards his belly. As I slurped the drink, I heard sex play going around me. Apparently the girls had unpacked the dinner and now wear doing what they were getting paid for.

I thought, lets just suck him off and leave. I went to unbutton his jeans.

smack.

'I told you have to ask before you get it'

'can I suck your dick'

'English rand hay be teri tho' Viraj commented.

smack

'ab hindi bhi bolegi' Spruh laughed along with other.

'muh mai lu kya ?'

'muh mai chahiye, kuttiya jara nach k dikha'

' I dont know how to dance'

'viraj, jara aapna belt de'

'i'll try to dance' I said looking at Viraj who not only removed his belt but his trousers too.

Whack..

The belt hit my calf, The sting made me jump. I started an awkward dance.  

Viraj now was brandishing the belt as I attempted to move my body. Avdhut was oblivious of all this busy fucking his girl on a mat.

Laughing Viraj returned to his girl now completely naked.

Spruh took piece of meat from his plate and threw it on the ground. 

'Eat'

I bend down to pick it when the belt caught my ass.

ssphat.

'muh se, kuttiya haat nahi lagati'

I went on my all four, Spruh circling me like a predator.  I caught the piece with my teeth and tried pushing it my lips. I coughed as soil triggered a gagging reflex.
I hear them laugh. Even the girls were laughing, Maybe they enjoyed my humiliation or maybe they just were doing it to please their clients. 
Tears ran down my eyes. God please let this be a dream, I prayed. Spruh put his belt around my neck. There were no holes for the size of my neck. He simply kept the free end of belt in his hand as leash. 

He pulled me further towards the hill. He walked ( and I crawled beside him) for a few minutes. When we were a good distance from the site he stopped.

'gand marwane ka kitna lega ?'

'Please .... Please dont ' I pleaded. Just to make him realize my position I caught his legs. 'please'

'hazar rupaye dunga'

'Pl...eeas...e ' I sobbed.

'Do hazar le le, saat mai second round mai tu bhi eak ladki ko chod lena'

'please maat'

'madar chod, lauday .... ijjat se bol raha hu tho gand mai masti chud rahi hai kya ?' He sound drunk and angry 'chul bol kitne lega'

'mai prostitute nahi hu' I cried. Tears dropped from my eyes. I was thinking about how to convince him to let me go when there was a slashing sound and something stung my back.

I looked up to find him two belts in hand; one acting as my leash and other which he just used to assault me.

'Kutte tu randi hai' He said flogging me with belt 'Randi .. Randi ... Randi'

He stopped, yanked my leash to make me look up. Our eyes met; I saw the determination in them, something above lust, something darker, something that was going to kill my innocence.

'kya hai tu ?' He asked, His hand moving above his head, ready to strike in case I gave some unpleasing answer.

All my pride, all my esteem, all my  dignity had crumbled before the pain of being flogged. All I thought was all this to get over soon. 

With a lot of efforts I answered . 'Randi'

He laughed hysterically,  'izzat se khud hoke dega, lube lagaunga , tujhe bhi maja aayega. Harampanti ki to nanga chodke jaunga yaha pe, yaad rukh'

I said nothing. I had silently accepted my position and I felt like my soul had left me.

I crawled behind him to camp site, The other two guys were in full fledge act of copulation, it was like a competition between then to make more sound or thump faster.  

Spruh made me stand upright and removed belt from my neck; made me cover my face and took a pic. Any disapproval of his act by me or rebellious words were flatten by a very hard lashing to my back. Then he made me remove the only clothing that was preserving the little dignity that I had. Once naked he made me cover my face and dick with hands and took a picture, a similar kind of picture I had seen on his PR account. I cursed myself for assuming that to be his pic and trusting him.

He smoked something, dirtier than cigarette, I thought It was weed. I was in my dog position when he lubed me, fingered and probed my asshole for loosening it and then started ramming his dick. The pain was excruciating,  felt like something tore there. Tears rand down my cheeks, saliva from my mouth flowed past my lips giving a wet sensation on my neck as It made its path towards my chest. My vision blurred and I could hear someone shouting my name  from a distance. Someone familiar, a voice that I was trying to recognize. A few moments later I was able to fit it, Girish was there. But how? I felt confused. I could feel some one shake me to wake me up, probably Garish. Petrified as I was, I tried to open my eyes, The wet sensation over my neck and chest was still there.  The light blinded my eyes, It took me more than a second to realise that I was in control lab.

'Whats the use of coffee, if you sleep after drinking it ?' Prem questioned my dedication to work.
'chalo, lets have something to eat. M hungry' Girish said. As I wiped the saliva from my face and body.

'yea' I said, my stomach was rumbling. There were seven miscalls from Spruh on my cell. I sighed at them and was relieved to see a message that said 'Sorry, nt possible 2day. mayB sometime else. Tc. '

'bad dream ?' Girish Enquire.

'yep, very very bad dream' I said, cleaning the pool of saliva from my table. 'very Bad'