Self Engineered Slave

looking at the title many would abstain from further indulgence, but the turmoil in my body needs an exhaust and only through my pen ( because just by penis it's not happening) I can relieve myself from the Satan that makes the devil at the crotch to spring in action when abused. Once in action the devil down there drinks all the blood depriving my brain of its fair share only to grow in stature.  And then I surrender to him.

telling the story the chronological way make it easier to understand but at the same time many would not want to know what a seven year old kid was thinking when he was tying himself in chains when his parents were out working. This brings us back to where the very thought of writing this came.

I was casually surfing through my face book when  I stumbled across a status :

"For the first time ever I googled PR & then loaded the website. Eek, Am I despo or I'm just being inquisitive beyond my limits!?! XD"

there is nothing wrong with the status but the comment on it made me interested

"The dark side beckons little guy"

and flooding back came the memories,

                I was on my all four, stark naked. The extra fat that I had acquired from sitting in front of PC was dangling alongside my semi-erect cock.  I could hear the sound of movie being played on the TV and I could sense the climax scene going on. Neither I had the courage to look at the TV nor the strength to look up. The guy sitting in chair rested his legs on my back. The sharp edges of his shoe sole were hurting my back.  I did not look up ,he did not move his feet either.

                The Commercial brake on the movie channel made the guy mute the TV.

                "kuch piyega kutte?" he offered.

                the abuse made its impact on the little devil and he drank a little more blood of my brain.

                I looked up and nodded.

                he got up and went to a corner of room and beckoned me.

                "come doggy"

                I went crawling.

                He poured some water in the bowl kept.

                "come, drink it doggy"

                I tried lapping the liquid with my tongue, the liquid hit the ceiling of my mouth and caused discomfort. "come-on doggy, god boy, god boy"

                He was encouraging me to drink and I continued just to please him. The drinking was difficult and all I could manage was a few gulps of water. not that I was thirsty but it was about him not me.

                "ok buss ho gaya" he said.

                "now move three round around the room"

"yes, good"

"one"

"come-on fast"

Phat.

the bare hand spank on my ass and I was lost into a paradise of pleasure, I crawled even faster.

"two"

"yea good....fast....fast"

he was encouraging me verbally and finally he did with a kick in my ass.

neither was the Spank painful nor was the kick. It was the prospect of someone having the power enough to kick on your rare with shoes that was making my dick tick.

another pat on head and with that came another command.

"lick my shoes"

"eakdum saaf kar , kutte ko dekha hai kya kabhi karte se? waise he kar"

I had stopped. For someone reading this it would be obvious that I must be thinking, thinking what should I do? any person in the situation has to be thinking. A aggressive natured person would have thought about getting up and giving a fight . or a passive-aggressive would have settled for a flight (running away). a passive natured would have thought about his hard luck that he was is this shit. he would have thought of how his inabilities has brought sorrow to his mind. But there were no thought in my mind. not a single one. for a day dreamer like me it was not unusual to think about random things while driving.  No examination went by where i was not thinking about what I would tell my friends after the exam or how well I would fare, or even how I would reach fame through this answer. yea I know they are what can be aptly termed as 'mungirilal ke hasin sapne', but still everyone has fault and constant thought was mine. but this thought was too missing.

I licked his shoes.

after a lick I looked up.

"uper kya dekh raha hai, chat acche se"

another lick , yet another and more.

"piche bhi chode maat"

I went between his shoes and licked.

He caught me between his legs and another few spanks came my way. He was randomly raining blow on my back and either ass cheeks.

"stay here" he ordered and went into bed room.

I did not look up. Nor did I raised my head when he came back.

he just came and stood there.

I was looking at the ground. Though I could see his legs , I stayed still.

A kick came my way. It was subtle but it landed on my mouth.

"jab kutta kuch nahi kar raha ho to usse malik ke jute chatne chaye. agli bar se yaad rukhna"

I looked up.

"samjha ka suwar?"

I nodded.

"fir gandu muh kya dekh raha hai, CHAT NA"

I got back to licking his other shoe.

"piche ka chat"

I went between his legs again. Anticipating spanks. but this time I was shocked and a yelp released my mouth as a cold leather hit my ass. The yelp was more due to surprise then the sting but it did shock me.

after a few more lashes, he released me out of his grip and said "well done kutte"

this with a few pats on my head.

then he put a leather collar around my neck

"you deserve this"

and as if a afterthought he added

"mai pahale din kisse belt nahi pehanata , tu lucky hai islia pehana raha hu. aab aram kar thodi der. yep crouch low"

after a few minutes he came back and attached leash to my collar. He then pulled me around the house a few times. a few times making me sit, crouch and try to stand with me still on knees. the right moves complimented wrong ones punished with a ball and cock squeeze or a kick on mu body.

After a few moment he took me into his kitchen directing me with leash and to my horror there was dog cage in which he wanted me to go.

I did.

he padlocked the cage.

"stay an all four. when u want to rest do it like a dog"

"samjha ka suwer?"

I nodded.

he tied the leash to the cage and was gone.

I heard a click and the light went out.

then the sound of door opening and getting latched came.

I realised that i was alone in the house. naked , locked in a cage below kitchen sink.

What had I got myself into?

There were no stray thought in my mind, a subtle numbness.

was it good to not think?

There was no guilty feeling, there was no sadness all I did was wait. After what it felt like an eternity he came back. the lights were switched on. He gave me no hint of his presence before he came.

"accah kutta."

he let me out of my cage. and gave his hand to lick.

he did not say anything. I licked it.

"you are getting better. "

"wag your tail."

"shake ur ass suwer, like u have a tail"

"wait lets provide u with a tail"

he brought a candle and pushed it inside my ass.

This was my first anal penetration. I tried taking my ass forward.

he grabbed my balls and pushed my ass onto the candle.

"Ahhh"

"itna andar thik hai"

I looked up in pain.

"kutte ki tarha puch lila madarchode"

a kick on my face was all it needed. and I shook it like a dog.

"mast kutte"

"shabash"

"wo corner mai ball hai dekh , mumh mai paked ke la "

I crawled to the corner, picked the yellow smiley sponge ball in my mouth and went back to him.

I dropped it near his legs. he picked it and threw it.

"catch it as it bounce"

"run doggy run"

the fetch-play continued for a few minutes and then we were back to his room where he sat on his mattress .

"remove my shoes with ur mouth"

I obliged.

"now socks"

this took me some time, but finally I did managed.

"pahele bar hai islia gand mai se nikal raha hu ye candle, warna suwar pura der andar he rukhta"

"der ho gai hai, aaj yehi rukega ?"

I finally spoke

"nahi ghur jaunga"

"madarchode har baar sir bolega"

"SAMJHA?"

"yes sir"

"mera tho man kar raha hai ki rukh lu tujhe yaha aaj"

"par thik hai tu jana chata hai to ja"

"kapde pahen le"

I went to hall where I had removed my clothes, I pulled my tea over my torso. I was about to wear my underwear when he said "iski jarurat nahi"

I pulled my jeans over my naked ass.

"collar rahene de, niche jake nikulanga"

I took my underwear and was about to keep them in my pocket when he said

"mere boot saaf kar unse"

I looked around and found a few pair lying in corner.

"the blue one"

I went and started cleaning them. when I was done I looked at him again.

"Bring them to me"

I picked them and was about to turn when he said

"chutiye haat se nahi"

"suwer ki aulad muh se utha k la"

I picked them and crawled back to him

"Itne jaldi aukat bhul gaya?"

"aab per chat mere, khush kar aapne malik ko. jab tak khush nahi karega, tab tak nahi chodunga"

I must be doing a good job. Coz he was enjoying. By this time the thinking was back. It was difficult for me to understand why I was doing it. but I did my job and he was happy to let me go.

we took the stairs on the way down and when we were below his building he took my collar off.

asked me if I was ok and we parted.

Right from the parting to the long walk back home (literally I walked 4kms at night from there to my relatives house where I was staying).........

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1993

Gholvad (Maharashtra)

3pm

                                The front window of the house opened to a fresh breeze from the sea. from the window one could see the Camping ground where students from nearby areas came for camping. Beyond the ground was the Arabian Sea. The sea was hidden from view by the 'suru' trees.

                                Usually all the doors and window of the house were open. Today the window of the house was closed. So were the doors. Inside a small boy was sitting in a corner only in his underwera. He had bound himself in few chains. The boy would be around 7years old.

                                If you could read the thought of that boy you would know he was imagining himself punished. The marks made by tear rolling from the eyes were shining in the small light that entered the room through a improperly closed window.

                                'Rahul'

                                Thuk, Thuk,Thuk... There was knock on the door.

The kid removed the chains and carefully without making sound shoved the chain under the Cupboard. Then he struggled to get his yellow shorts on him and then finally the T-shirt.

He ran to the door and before opening it he glanced around to check if anything looked out of place. He finally open the door.

'kya hua ? itni der kyu lagi?' his mom asked.

'so raha tha'

'ye T-shirt ulta kyu pehana hai?.... idhar aa mai sidha kar deti hu'

He tried getting away but his mom caught his hand and pulled him towards her.

'Ro kyu raha tha'

'Ro nahi raha tha, mere aakh se pani aa raha hai' He lied.

'shaam ko doctor ko dekha denge. kya bahau nashte mai?'

'kuch bhi chalega'

'thik hai halwa banti hu'

'chalega'

Rahul was fighting tears, he did not want to tell his mom that he got bullied in school. He had lots of trouble with bigger kids in class before. But this particular kid was a big bully. he was twice the height of rahul and about four years older than him. In the PT period he would take rahul far away from rest of the class and spank him. either on his hand or ass with a wooden scale or the plastic ball kitchen he had.

'everthing alright?'

'yea mom'

Rahuls mom took him in her arm and rahul felt asleep in her care....

                My mom loved me very much. So did my father. I dont know where the problem of not getting enough affection comes from. ..... .... ...

      

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Speak rudely to me, I would be rude to you.

Try crossing me, I would get my revenge.

If you are bad, I am worse...

Neither Passive, Nor Aggressive.... but a combination of both (I WONT CARE IF I LOOSE BUT WNT LET U WIN)

95% or may be more of my life I'm ordinary guy like you , but rest 5% is better kept a secret..

a secret that hides in my heart...

a secret that keeps eating me from inside...

a secret that has made me a hollow person...

a secret which that wont leak through my lips

but a secret that is leaving a black trail through my writing ....

The thought about being slave was always there, be it as a kid or as a Teenager. The intensity of the thought mattered. I had come across 'Ideal mind is devils workshop' a thousand number of time but the practical realization of the phrase did not strike me until this very moment of writing it. nevertheless  the kid mind was always busy doing studies, playing or watching cartoon. Teenage mind was no different but the new horizon for libido relief had emerged a hot favorite. The problem grew in youth. when the friends were chosen not by the fact who is made to sit beside you but by the social protocol of masculinity. The few effeminate were incorporated in group just to make fun of but majority like me were left isolated. With isolation came idleness and with idleness came the urge to be made slave.